Realtionships

I hate relationships. I wish I had a relationship with someone. I want to feel close to someone. Is that so bad? I don't know what I want sometimes. I don't want to date. I just want close intimate friendships now.

 But I have a problem, most of my friends are guys, and guys don't like to open up to girls. So, I feel like I'm on the outside all the time. I wish that men would trust me enough to let me in their world. I just want to understand what they feel and what their dreams are, but no no no they never ever let me in.

I don't want to give up, but sometimes it feels like there isn't any hope when it comes to this subject. 

So, I'm gonna try not to push and just let God do the work. 

I'm gonna obey what the Lord tells me to do.

Even when it doesn't make sense.

Face of Time (Song of the Pearl)

Jason Upton, "Trusting the Angels"

I can remember when

I was afraid like you

Not so long ago

Confusion ruled my life

Wondering what to do

Not so long ago

These are resting waves

From a memory

In the hiding place of my mind

And the sweetest taste is a history

When suffering wears the face of time

The pain hurt way too much

the water was so cold

Not so long ago

That's when the light rescued me

From the darkness I was free

Not so long ago

In the place of suffering

There's a God worth worshipping

On these wings of worship we will ride

Jason Upton, Trusting the Angels, 2004

God Did

Growin' up I overheard
All the grown ups sayin'

You better be prayin'

And sayin'

All the right little things

At the right little times

And I had it down

At least on the outside

I'd put my best side forward

I could smile with the best

And dress like the rest

Of the messed up church folk singin' a song

Are you sitting down

With all your sin and shame all stored up

Are you ready to live

For what the law could not do

God did

Could it be that morality

Got the best of you and me

Got us thinking

that we're on the brink

Of a drink of the cup that's all filled up

With the cross havin' even a little to do with us

It was His day

It was His way

To the glory of His grace

Took our disease

Enough to please

The Father of lights

To bruise Jesus

Maybe dos and don'ts

Were made to show How much we do

And don't ever make it

                                Shane Barnard-"God Did" , Clean, 2004

Life

   God has a purpose 


       for everything


     ...even our pain.