Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Morning Silence and Prayer

I'm awake and my mind is stuck on the concept of prayer. When I pray, I'm tapping into the Spirit of God that lives in me. Prayer allows me to open the floodgates to God the father. I'm not saying that God is closed off to us ever; I'm saying that we sometimes put walls or obstacles in our way. We have to allow the Holy Spirit permission to interact with our human spirit/soul.

It's difficult to let God into our innermost being. We don't always like to share ourselves with our creator. When we do let down the walls or open the floodgates to God's Spirit, we are trusting that I Am will only give us what we can handle. We have to trust God to be who He is: holy.

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Restless

It's 5:12am. I can't sleep. I'm stressed out but probably nothing compared to my mom and my cousins. Grief sucks but it's necessary. I don't know what stage of grief I'm going through now. All I know is that I'm heartbroken. I hate losing my aunts and uncles. I feel like a piece of me dies when any of them passes from this life to the next. I hurt and cry for my mom. She's doesn't know how to express her emotional pain. She holds all of it inside. I can't do that for long. It will break me. I try to just let the pain and hurt...and anger out in small bursts throughout my days. Time doesn't heal all wounds. We just learn to cope with the wounds over a period of time. Believe me when I say that scars remain.