Restless

It's 5:12am. I can't sleep. I'm stressed out but probably nothing compared to my mom and my cousins. Grief sucks but it's necessary. I don't know what stage of grief I'm going through now. All I know is that I'm heartbroken. I hate losing my aunts and uncles. I feel like a piece of me dies when any of them passes from this life to the next. I hurt and cry for my mom. She's doesn't know how to express her emotional pain. She holds all of it inside. I can't do that for long. It will break me. I try to just let the pain and hurt...and anger out in small bursts throughout my days. Time doesn't heal all wounds. We just learn to cope with the wounds over a period of time. Believe me when I say that scars remain.