No Fixin' Required

I don't need fixin'
I'm not broken
I don't need savin'
I'm not lost
I just need you to listen
And make me feel
Safe
And at home
So that I know that I'm
Not alone

Ladder

I would drop you a ladder

Ask you to climb

Up Up Up

To me

But if I have to ask you

It just means you aren't ready.

So I wait.

Lurking

People Lurk.
"They soooo social."
(That's sarcasm.)
People Lurk.
It's easy.
It requires no effort.
Relational?
No.
People Lurk
Because it's easy

Not Finished -- Sigh

-Rules -Laws -Mandates -Commands - What's expected of you: perfection. You own confusion. You yearn for peace. The Bubble; No Escape

(Poem under construction. Come back later when I find myself and I'll be complete.)

Week Before My Birthday - Blah

I'm anxious. I can't sleep. It's that time of year again when I question everything.

It's really simple. It's not complicated. It's just this weird thing that my body does before a few days before the day that reminds me that I'm getting older...old...ancient...closer to death. Damn birthdays. I love them and get so annoyed at the same time. The thing about this time is my mind's constant thoughts that scream, 'You should be married,' or 'You should have kids,' or 'You aren't doing what you're called to do, but who actually cares about you. Give up.'


Anyways....I'm not in a mood to deal with people. I'm a little on edge right now. Give me a few days and I'll be fine. I'll be my normal self again and I'll stop worrying about all the things that I worry about -- the things that make me feel less alive.

Whatever.

Has The Word "Christian" Lost Its Meaning?

Has The Word "Christian" Lost  Its Meaning?


I love Jesus. I follow Him, but I'm so uncomfortable calling myself a "Christian" anymore. It seems like the word doesn't mean "little Christ" in this age. How can one call themselves the name "Christian" but not follow the true founder of their religion? If you say you follow Jesus, why would you spend all your time and energy hating homosexuals, being against same sex marriage, oppressing women, controlling the sex lives of other people and talking about abortion almost 24/7.

Did Jesus Christ, from our 4 canonical gospels, focus on those topics? No, He did not. He focused on the kingdom of His Father and making the Father known to man in a way that mankind had not seen or understood before in recorded history. Jesus explained the Father God. If you understand Jesus Christ, you have a better understanding of God the Father. Everything Jesus said came from the Father God. So, if Jesus only said what the Father wanted, why are we not focusing on the words of Jesus? Are they not important? Are the words of man more important than the words that came straight from God the Father to Jesus the Son?

In the story of the good Samaritan, Jesus teaches us to love our neighbor no matter who he is and no matter how he worships. Is that really a hard concept? Can we all not live in a world where different denominations and sects or branches of Christianity come together in their shared belief and love of Jesus Christ?

Maybe, I'm a dreamer. Maybe I want too much from people that say they put their hope and faith in Jesus. I don't know if I'm filled with hope anymore when people whine if you don't use the name "Yeshua" for Jesus. I think Jesus (Yeshua) knows that we are praying to Him or talking about Him. I mean He is kinda ...ya know...The Son of God.

People are so focused on what can divide the body of Christ and not what unites all as one in Jesus. We've become blind to what really matters. We've lost our focus on the mission. We've forgotten our duty. We've forgotten to love one another.

Anyways...a house divided will fall.

Positive Transracial Adoption Rant - Hair Issues - Black folks

Hair Problems - Adoption

I think it's absolutely amazing that many people of various races adopt black and biracial or multiracial children. So many minority children in the USA are rarely ever adopted. Also, I know that many people adopt internationally, and I have no issues with that. I think it takes a brave and courageous person to adopt any child regardless of color or country of origin. Now, with that said, let's talk about hair.

Black folks are very sensitive about hair. 

Hair is a longstanding Black American issue. We always feel like our hair has to "represent" the entire Black community, but most Black Americans are finally starting to calm down with the crazy negative issues they have with their own hair.

Natural or Chemically Processed: both are fine. I think people should choose a hairstyle that works for the busy parent and the playful child. Never feel pressured that you have to do any specific style or trend because it's popular.

In the Black community, we call unkempt or uncombed hair that you can't run your fingers through as "Nappy". You can have a natural hairstyle and NOT be nappy.

1. Don't be afraid of Hair Dress / Pomade (We black folks call it grease). It's good stuff. There are lots of great pomades available today. After you wash the hair, add just a dime size amount of pomade to the hair. <--  Comb thru with a wide tooth comb or finger twist the hair. The pomade or hair dress will make the hair smooth and shiny and manageable and protect it from becoming too dry and brittle.

2. Black Ethnic hair gets very brittle and dry. Don't be afraid to get a spray bottle with about 2/3 water and 1/3 Frizz serum and spritz the hair. It needs moisture.

3. Condition more than you shampoo. Shampoo twice a week and Condition maybe 3 or 4 times a week -- (For Natural Hair).
Dark and Lovely Cholesterol Conditioner is really good with detangling hair. Biosilk or Fructis Frizz serum is great to use also to keep away the frizz

4. Braids, twists, or cornrows are great styles also, but remember to let the hair out after a week or two from a style so the hair can rest for a few days, because you don't want additional breakage from it being tied up or braided too tightly or for your child's scalp to break out in bumps from being pulled too tightly.

If the hair on a boy is very unruly, just start over. Take him to a barber shop that knows how to cut Black ethnic hair and get a short style that you and your child agree on. Let the hair grow out healthier. Damaged hair is ...well damaged. Just cut it off.

Girls - natural hairstyles are fine! If you want to do relaxers or texturizers, read all directions on home kits or go to a salon and get your daughter's hair styled. It's usually safer to have a professional chemically treat the hair, and you can ask for tips from a good stylist that specializes in Black hair care. Great advantage, right? I think so.

No Label Required - I Have A Name

Why do we have to have so many freaking labels for people?
I don't want to be called....
or known by....
a label....
I'm more than one label...
I'm more than one noun...
You give me names that I didn't ask for...
Names that I want you to lose and never find.
I want my renown to be about my character
My integrity
My kindness
My compassion
My voice for those that have no voice
My love for the least and my love for the greatest
My hope in Him
My faith in Her
My yearning for peace
My desire to see the things that no one wants to see
My forgiveness 
........
Me
My name
Me
My name
Not your label

Morning Silence and Prayer

I'm awake and my mind is stuck on the concept of prayer. When I pray, I'm tapping into the Spirit of God that lives in me. Prayer allows me to open the floodgates to God the father. I'm not saying that God is closed off to us ever; I'm saying that we sometimes put walls or obstacles in our way. We have to allow the Holy Spirit permission to interact with our human spirit/soul.

It's difficult to let God into our innermost being. We don't always like to share ourselves with our creator. When we do let down the walls or open the floodgates to God's Spirit, we are trusting that I Am will only give us what we can handle. We have to trust God to be who He is: holy.

posted from Bloggeroid

Restless

It's 5:12am. I can't sleep. I'm stressed out but probably nothing compared to my mom and my cousins. Grief sucks but it's necessary. I don't know what stage of grief I'm going through now. All I know is that I'm heartbroken. I hate losing my aunts and uncles. I feel like a piece of me dies when any of them passes from this life to the next. I hurt and cry for my mom. She's doesn't know how to express her emotional pain. She holds all of it inside. I can't do that for long. It will break me. I try to just let the pain and hurt...and anger out in small bursts throughout my days. Time doesn't heal all wounds. We just learn to cope with the wounds over a period of time. Believe me when I say that scars remain.

Son Sun

The Son came down in the center of the Sun and the angel brought me to the center of the circle. The Son's sun descended upon me. His glory radiated and burst forth waves of His true self upon all whom had laid in wait in the inner and outer circles that surrounded me.

Forgive me for this lame post

Forgive me for this lame post. I just need to jot down a thought away from Facebook and Twitter.

Why are so many of the religious blogs always talking about sex, gender, and sexuality? It's usually nothing new or positive or hopeful. They just continue to spread church tradition and archaic teachings. It's exhausting to read anything from the Christian bubble. I think God wants us to grow and evolve into a group of people that can actually forgive and love others. Yes, it's hard. It's not easy to forgive or be nice or not judge. It's a challenge everyday to not hold someone's mistakes or stupidity over their heads. You have to fight your need to be superior. You have to kill your own pride. You are no better than any other human. Yes, you have to remind yourself of that everyday. Not.....Easy.

11/8/2012 -- Random Thoughts On Starting Over

So it's 1:27 am on 11/8/2012 and I'm up listening to music and thinking about God and Church and life and what I'm suppose to do. I'm thinking too much and sometimes not enough at all. I'm screaming at myself inside for trusting people that I shouldn't. I'm also quieting my soul and trying to remember what it's like to be in the "Be Still and Know Place." Do I remember that place at all? I don't know. I'm different than I used to be. I feel like I've emptied myself of so much hate and control and pressure that I felt from the Christian subculture out of me, but there are times that I question whether I should be so open and honest about how I feel. I'm continually reminded by the Spirit that "they" aren't ready to hear what you have to say, but I don't feel Him saying that I should be quiet and not express my thoughts. There are certain topics that I do feel that He is telling me to be quiet on for this moment in time, but there aren't many of them.

I'm also thinking about how crazy it is that so many people were so upset today about nothing, but a something that wasn't the end of the world, but really a "nothing" that shouldn't change anything any more or less than the "somethings" that happen everyday.

Well... anyways...it's late and I think I'll sleep now. I just think that maybe I need to write more on my blog. I don't really care if people read it or not, but I just want a place to express my pain and thoughts and musings away from the insanity that is social media. I love social sites for what they are, but they really aren't very social. They can be fun and silly and a great distraction, but I sometimes think they can be more...a vehicle for ideas and a way for people to share great ideas to others, but usually they are just a place to share photos of kids...usually dirty food splattered kids and silly cats in clothes and a few interesting rants, but .....it is what it is.

I think I miss music more than anything. I know I'm so going into my loner season. It's the time of the year when I can't help but push everyone away. I'm not upset or depressed or anything, but I just want to be alone. I don't think that's a bad thing. It's good to be alone sometimes. It helps you to clear your head of thoughts that wear you down. It can help you start over. Starting over is a good, scary thing. Well....I hope it is. Just my two cents on it.

Don't be just hearers. Be Do-ers. Grace + Faith = Good Works.

Don't be just hearers. Be Do-ers. Grace + Faith = Good Works. A good tree produces good fruit. Love One Another!

 If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion--how can God's love be in that person; (1 John 3:17); and one of you says to them;Go in peace, be warmed and be filled; and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? (James 2:16)

But be a doer of the word and not only a hearer, and do not deceive yourselves. (James 1:22) You respect Mother Teresa because she did good works. She showed you her faith by her works. http://bible.cc/james/1-22.htm

Culture Club - Karma Chameleon - YouTube

Culture Club - Karma Chameleon - YouTube

Tegan And Sara - The Con (Video)

Emotions Suck

The edge of the canyon of numb
Needing....Wanting
So badly to jump into the deep darkness
Fight the desire to hide in the void, in the cold
The knowledge of real LOVE keeps me from that last step
From jumping
Change....swirling inside me
Beckons me to quiet my soul
To listen to the whisper
The voice of Love
The feeling of peace
The spirit of comfort

The arms of strength

The giver of joy

I step back from the edge

Slowly

Even though my body is trembling from fear,

I know I'm not alone.

And He won't let me jump.

And I look up and remember home.

And I remember
My Lover

Kevin Walker Poetry: Passing By

Check out this great poem by Kevin Walker.

Kevin Walker Poetry: Passing By: I pass her by everyday. Tired eyes And a weary smile Are her only adornments. She looks toward me, But, quickly, I turn the other direction....

20 Practical Ways to Reshape the Image of Black and African Females in Society.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
~ Edmund Burke

I came up with 20 practical ways to change the image of Black females in society.

I would like you all to read this and SHARE it with your friends.  I would love for this post to go viral (Copy and paste it on Facebook (attribute it to me, of course), Tweet it and Google Plus ....just share it.
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20 Practical Ways To Reshape the Image of Black Females.

1. Stop posting degrading pictures of Black Women on social networking sites.

2. Start showing beautiful images of successful and talented Black females online.

3. Make a poster or collage of beautiful Black females of different shades and tones: From the whitest skin to the darkest black. Show them to your friends. Post them online.

4. If you have daughters, buy dolls of all races. Show them kid/teen movies that have diversity in their cast.

5. Teach your children to respect all people no matter what color their skin and teach them to not believe and perpetuate stereotypes of black women.

6. Ask the media to show more Black females in leading roles on television and in the movies.

7. Ask the children and teen networks to have more Black females and Black males as the leading actors in some of their new shows.

8. Demand that Hollywood shows diversity in the casting of Black females. Ask them to not continue in only casting the “mammy” or the loud, mean, nasty, overweight, round face black women. Ask them to show a more realistic view of the different types of Black women in America.

9. Teach your sons that all women are beautiful regardless of color of their skin. Show them beautiful pictures of women around the world. If you teach your sons that it's ok to think that black women are beautiful and sexy, they will learn to think of Black women as you do. You influence how they think about different groups of people.

10. Have a diversity dinner at your home that celebrates different cultures.

11. Don't have just one token black guy friend. Make an effort to reach out to Black females.

12. Social Networks – Friend or Circle Black Females. Make an effort.

13. Educate yourself to the problems that Black Females face in society. If you know more of the problems, you can help to come up with simple solutions to fix the issues.

14. Create a YouTube video and talk about the problems and talk about solutions. Educate yourself first before you create the video. Have a friend review the video to make sure you are getting the right message across.

15. Celebrate Black History month. Showcase the achievements and contributions of Black Americans in the USA. It's a great time to talk about race and issues that are still plaguing many people. Take the month of February and use it to help start a revolution. Maybe one day there will be no need to have just one month to celebrate Black Americans. Maybe you will have made such an impact that all ethnicities contributions to society will all be equally celebrated in history. (Make a resolution to take 3 or 6 months and celebrate all the different ethnicities in the world)

16. Post a movie clip that shows Black females (positive and negative types). Create a discussion post and talk about the Stereotype vs. Reality of Black females. Teach your friends.

17. Showcase books and poetry by Black authors. There are many Black female authors. Show them to the world.

18. Show the artwork of Black female artists. Art, music, plays, etc, – show them to your friends

19. Understand the power of share on social networks and use it to start a revolution of equality and diversity. There is a great amount of power when you share positive images. Ask your friends to share. Share positive images of people when you are asked to do so. Sharing is a small effort that can have enormous impact on society. Use that “Share” button and use it often.

20. Do a hangout on Google Plus (Video Chat) with Black Women. Include them in your discussions and posts. Ask for the feedback of Black females. Including people is a simple solution.


These are just a few practical ways. I believe that many of you can come up with more. You could easily take one idea that I have on here and break it down to a more detail plan. There are usually always ways to make things better. All you have to do is just think about the problem and usually solutions will come to you.

Share this... Thank you.

Jason Upton - Not Alone

Jason Upton

Sometimes a song just sticks with you. You don't forget it. Over time, your life is shaped by it. It continuously moves you to ponder and meditate on an essential truth throughout your years. Face of time by Jason Upton is one of those songs for me.   There are words from Face of Time that remain in my head and heart; and from time to time, I let it remind me that even though I suffer so much in this life, I have a God that loves me. Jesus loves me. The Father God loves me. The Holy Spirit loves me. I amloved. 



My favorite verses:
I can remember when
I was afraid like you
Not so long ago
Confusion ruled my life
Wondering what to do
Not so long ago

 and

The pain hurt way too much
the water was so cold
Not so long ago
That's when the light rescued me
From the darkness I was free
Not so long ago

My absolute favorite part:
In the place of suffering
There's a God worth worshiping
On these wings of worship we will ride