Thursday, August 18, 2005


I hate relationships. I wish I had a relationship with someone. I want to feel close to someone. Is that so bad? I don't know what I want sometimes. I don't want to date. I just want close intimate friendships now.

 But I have a problem, most of my friends are guys, and guys don't like to open up to girls. So, I feel like I'm on the outside all the time. I wish that men would trust me enough to let me in their world. I just want to understand what they feel and what their dreams are, but no no no they never ever let me in.

I don't want to give up, but sometimes it feels like there isn't any hope when it comes to this subject. 
So, I'm gonna try not to push and just let God do the work. 

I'm gonna obey what the Lord tells me to do.

Even when it doesn't make sense.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Face of Time (Song of the Pearl)

Face Of Time
Jason Upton, "Trusting the Angels"

I can remember when

I was afraid like you
Not so long ago
Confusion ruled my life
Wondering what to do
Not so long ago

These are resting waves
From a memory
In the hiding place of my mind
And the sweetest taste is a history
When suffering wears the face of time

The pain hurt way too much
the water was so cold
Not so long ago
That's when the light rescued me
From the darkness I was free
Not so long ago

In the place of suffering
There's a God worth worshipping
On these wings of worship we will ride

Jason Upton, Trusting the Angels, 2004

Monday, August 08, 2005

God Did

Growin' up I overheard
All the grown ups sayin'
You better be prayin'
And sayin'
All the right little things
At the right little times
And I had it down
At least on the outside
I'd put my best side forward
I could smile with the best
And dress like the rest
Of the messed up church folk singin' a song
Are you sitting down
With all your sin and shame all stored up
Are you ready to live
For what the law could not do
God did
Could it be that morality
Got the best of you and me
Got us thinking
that we're on the brink
Of a drink of the cup that's all filled up
With the cross havin' even a little to do with us
It was His day
It was His way
To the glory of His grace
Took our disease
Enough to please
The Father of lights
To bruise Jesus
Maybe dos and don'ts
Were made to show How much we do
And don't ever make it

                                Shane Barnard-"God Did" , Clean, 2004

Sunday, August 07, 2005


   God has a purpose 

       for everything

     ...even our pain.